![A conservatory with two chairs angled towards each other and a rope bridge visible through the glass](https://viacara.com/img/content/approaches-emotionally-focused-therapy-feature-light.webp) # Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT, not EMDR) Learn how emotionally focused therapy works for couples and families, how it differs from EMDR and tapping, and what the research shows. ## What is emotionally focused therapy? Emotionally focused therapy explores emotions and attachment in work with couples, families and individuals. This page focuses on couples. It differs from [EMDR](https://viacara.com/approaches/emdr/) and the tapping method also shortened to EFT. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg developed it in the 1980s. It rests on attachment science: the idea that adults need a secure bond as much as children do. When that bond feels threatened, people protest, chase or shut down. The argument on the surface is rarely the real one. Sources: [ICEEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-1), [Johnson et al. 1999](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-2) ## How it *works* Most stuck couples have one dance. One partner pushes for contact and the other pulls away to keep the peace. Each move makes sense from the inside and makes the other person's move worse. Emotionally focused therapy names that dance and makes it the shared enemy. Instead of asking who is right, the therapist slows things down. They ask what each of you feels underneath the anger or the silence. Usually it is fear, loneliness or the sense of not mattering. Once those feelings can be said out loud and heard, the pattern loses its grip. The bond becomes something you can lean on again. ## What *sessions* look like Changing a relationship *pattern* 1. **Notice the pattern** The therapist helps both partners see how their responses affect each other. 2. **Explore what is underneath** Partners name feelings and needs that can be hard to express during conflict. 3. **Try a different response** The therapist supports new exchanges, then helps partners use them outside sessions. This summarises the work. Partners may return to earlier work as new difficulties arise. The therapy's own training body describes a typical course as eight to twenty sessions. Sessions are usually weekly and last about an hour. Your therapist sees you together, and sometimes each of you alone early on. 8-20 sessions in a typical course the therapy's training body [ICEEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-1) The work moves through three stages: - **De-escalation.** Seeing the cycle you are caught in, and stepping out of the blame - **Restructuring.** Sharing the softer feelings underneath, and responding to each other differently - **Consolidation.** Using the new way of reaching each other on the old problems You will not be given homework sheets or communication scripts. The change happens in the room, in the moments when one of you risks saying what is true. Sources: [ICEEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-1), [Johnson et al. 1999](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-2) ![The rope bridge seen from the conservatory, its planks repaired and the far side in reach](https://viacara.com/img/content/approaches-emotionally-focused-therapy-mid-light.webp) Emotionally focused therapy rebuilds the bridge rather than arguing about who broke it ## Who is it best *suited* to? Emotionally focused therapy was built for couples in distress, and that is where the evidence is strongest. It also has forms for families and for individuals. It can be a good fit if you: - Have the same fight on repeat with no end to it - Feel one of you chases while the other withdraws - Have lost trust after an affair, a lie or a long absence - Feel lonely inside the relationship and do not know how to say so - Want the bond repaired rather than a set of rules for arguing better It suits every kind of couple our [couples page](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) describes. If the strain is with a parent, sibling or adult child, our [family relationships page](https://viacara.com/support/family/) covers the wider picture. Source: [ICEEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-1) ## How it differs from *EMDR* and tapping [EMDR](https://viacara.com/approaches/emdr/) treats trauma in one person by helping the brain reprocess a stuck memory. Emotionally focused therapy treats the bond between people. A couple might use both, with different therapists, but they are not versions of the same thing. Emotional freedom technique, also called tapping, shares the initials and nothing else. It is a self-help method that involves tapping on points on the body. A therapist means something else by it. If a profile says "EFT", ask which one. A relationship therapist will say emotionally focused, and will usually name attachment. ## How it differs from *other* couples work Some couples approaches focus on skills: how to raise a complaint, take a break or repair after a row. Emotionally focused therapy focuses on the emotional bond and expects the skills to follow once each of you feels safe. It shares roots with [humanistic](https://viacara.com/approaches/humanistic/) and [person-centred](https://viacara.com/approaches/person-centred/) therapy, and borrows their attention to what is felt now. It adds a map of the cycle, and a structured way through it. Other methods carry names you may meet on a profile. [Emotion-focused therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#emotion-focused-therapy) shares the initials. The rest have [their own pages](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#other-couples-methods). ## *Emotion-focused* therapy Emotion-focused therapy is the other EFT. The APA dictionary defines the hyphenated form, and names Leslie Greenberg as a principal proponent. The adverb belongs to Sue Johnson's tradition, the subject of this page. Greenberg treats feeling as the engine of change, rather than thought alone. Your therapist follows what you feel, and guides it. Sessions use set tasks. Two-chair work takes on self-criticism. Empty-chair work takes on what was left unsaid to someone else. Exploring *emotion* in the session - **Follow the feeling** The therapist helps the client notice and describe what they feel. - **Work with it** Focused tasks can help the client explore self-criticism or feelings left unsaid. This tradition centres emotional experience. Emotionally focused couples work places more emphasis on attachment and patterns between partners. The spelling tells you the lineage, not who is in the room. Both traditions now see couples and single clients. A 2026 review pooled trials of the therapy for low mood, anxiety and related distress. It beat an inactive control group, but not other talking therapies. The same review found signs of publication bias. It called the research quality largely poor. Sources: [APA: EFT definition](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-6), [Johnson et al. 1999](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-2), [ISEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-7), [Shahar et al. 2017](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-8), [ICEEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-1), [Whittington et al. 2026](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-9) ## Other couples *methods* Each of these has its own page: - [The Gottman method](https://viacara.com/approaches/gottman/) starts with an assessment of your relationship. - [Imago relationship therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/imago/) uses a guided dialogue. You take turns to speak and listen. - [Behavioural couples therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/) changes what you do together. NICE names it for depression. - [Couples counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/) is a broad couples training, not one method. ## The *evidence* The early research is strong for a couples therapy. In the trials a 1999 review gathered, up to seven in ten couples had recovered from distress by follow-up. Later reviews found the gains held rather than faded. A 2019 systematic review of nineteen years of studies reached the same conclusion. It added the usual caution that many trials were small. A 2026 review put emotionally focused therapy among seven models with modest support. It found no couple therapy with strong support. NICE does not rank couples therapies for relationship distress on its own. It does name [behavioural couples therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/) for depression, where the relationship plays a part. This is one of the better-studied ways to work on a relationship. The right therapist will tell you when it is not the fit. Our [couples page](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) starts from what is happening between you rather than from the name of a method. Sources: [Johnson et al. 1999](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-2), [Wiebe & Johnson 2016](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-3), [Beasley & Ager 2019](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-4), [Jackson et al. 2026](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-10), [NICE NG222](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#ref-5) On this page [What is emotionally focused therapy?](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#what-is-emotionally-focused-therapy) [How it works](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#how-it-works) [What sessions look like](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#what-sessions-look-like) [Who is it best suited to?](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#who-is-it-best-suited-to) [How it differs from EMDR and tapping](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#how-it-differs-from-emdr-and-tapping) [How it differs from other couples work](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#how-it-differs-from-other-couples-work) [Emotion-focused therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#emotion-focused-therapy) [Other couples methods](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#other-couples-methods) [The evidence](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#the-evidence) Related [Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) [Family Relationships](https://viacara.com/support/family/) [The Gottman Method for Couples](https://viacara.com/approaches/gottman/) [Imago Relationship Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/imago/) [Behavioural Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/) [Couples Counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/) [EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)](https://viacara.com/approaches/emdr/) [Humanistic Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/humanistic/) [Person-Centred Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/person-centred/) [Understanding Different Approaches](https://viacara.com/guides/understanding-approaches/) Thanks for your interest. We're not taking on new clients at the moment. ## Looking for emotionally focused therapy? We ask what matters to you, then find professionals who fit. Leave your email and we'll let you know as soon as we're ready for you. This conversation helps us find you the right support. What you share helps us understand what you're looking for and find someone who fits. Your email keeps you updated on what's happening next and isn't shared with anyone we introduce you to. [Privacy policy](https://viacara.com/privacy/) [Terms of service](https://viacara.com/terms/) ## References 1. International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (2026). *What is EFT?*. [iceeft.com](https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft-public/) 2. Johnson, S. M., Hunsley, J., Greenberg, L. & Schindler, D. (1999). *Emotionally focused couples therapy: Status and challenges*. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. [doi:10.1093/clipsy.6.1.67](https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.6.1.67) 3. Wiebe, S. A. & Johnson, S. M. (2016). *A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples*. Family Process. [doi:10.1111/famp.12229](https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12229) 4. Beasley, C. C. & Ager, R. (2019). *Emotionally focused couples therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years*. Journal of Evidence-Based Social Work. [doi:10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013](https://doi.org/10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013) 5. National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (2022). *Depression in adults: treatment and management (NG222)*. [nice.org.uk](https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng222) 6. American Psychological Association (2018). *Emotion-focused therapy (EFT), APA Dictionary of Psychology*. [dictionary.apa.org](https://dictionary.apa.org/emotion-focused-therapy) 7. International Society for Emotion Focused Therapy (2026). *What is EFT?*. [iseft.org](https://www.iseft.org/What-is-EFT) 8. Shahar, B., Bar-Kalifa, E. & Alon, E. (2017). *Emotion-focused therapy for social anxiety disorder: Results from a multiple-baseline study*. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. [doi:10.1037/ccp0000166](https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000166) 9. Whittington, D. D., Jafari, M. & Borgogna, N. C. (2026). *Emotion-focused therapy for distress-based psychopathology in adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis*. Psychotherapy Research. [doi:10.1080/10503307.2026.2650152](https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2026.2650152) 10. Jackson, J. B., Codecá, L., Miller, R. B., Simpson, J. E., O'Leary, A. M. & Renner, S. M. (2026). *Empirically supported couple therapy models for couple relationship distress: A replication and update*. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. [doi:10.1111/jmft.70162](https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.70162) ## Related ### [Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) Couples therapy for any kind of couple: how sessions work, time alone with the therapist, what it costs for two and when it is not the right start. ### [Family Relationships](https://viacara.com/support/family/) Strain with parents, siblings, children or step-family is common and can be worked on. Find a professional who helps with family relationships. ### [The Gottman Method for Couples](https://viacara.com/approaches/gottman/) Learn how the Gottman method works for couples, what the assessment and sessions involve, and what the research does and does not show. ### [Imago Relationship Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/imago/) Learn how Imago relationship therapy works, what the Imago dialogue asks of each partner, and what the research does and does not show. ### [Behavioural Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/) Learn how behavioural couples therapy works, when NICE recommends it for depression, and how integrative behavioural couple therapy differs. ### [Couples Counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/) Learn what couples counselling is, what the first sessions and the assessment involve, what it costs and how to check a counsellor's register. ### [EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)](https://viacara.com/approaches/emdr/) Learn how EMDR works, what happens in sessions and why it is recommended for trauma and PTSD. ### [Humanistic Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/humanistic/) Learn how humanistic therapy sees you as a whole person, what happens in a session, who it tends to suit and what the research covers. ### [Person-Centred Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/person-centred/) Learn how person-centred therapy works, what sessions look like and why the relationship with your therapist matters most. ### [Understanding Different Approaches](https://viacara.com/guides/understanding-approaches/) A plain-English guide to the main therapeutic approaches including CBT, person-centred therapy, psychodynamic and integrative methods.